First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
