My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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