"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just puked most of my soul out..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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