shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my sisters under your porch take her home
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
smell my finger.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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