I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
