bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i've created a new STD.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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