I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
