Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
