Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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