Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
