So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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