sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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