Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
