i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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