The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
