so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize