Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
