Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
