There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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