have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
