she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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