You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
