Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
