I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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