do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
