i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sorry about my life...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
