Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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