i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
