? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
