She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
