why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
