I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
