she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
