I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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