ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
