hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
