if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
