left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
