oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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