Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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