Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
