The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
