I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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