i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
