Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I have aggressive nipples.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
