i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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