I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
