I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
