there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
