No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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