After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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