I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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