oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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