So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
