Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize